A dating app that will save the human race
He refrained from escorting you to your abode as the hour grew late.
Three hours beyond the appointed hour, he arrived, with an erroneous gate as his tale.
An act of deception akin to bait and switch.
He bore the countenance of an individual who would dismember and confine you within an automobile trunk. A dreadful encounter indeed.
You partook in coffee, but have you sealed your destiny?
Contemplate a reality where you need not adorn yourself for ill-fated rendezvous.
You need not disrobe for those you shall eventually disdain.
The tapestry of life still unfolds. You can now be rescued from woeful encounters and unsuitable companions.
An Innovative Dating Application to Discover Your Ideal Companion
Listen, my acquaintance —
Are you fatigued from a litany of abysmal, woeful, calamitous encounters?
Do they consistently arrive as the clock strikes three hours beyond the agreed-upon time?
He never extended a call or responded to your textual messages — this lack of reverence is inexcusable.
Whenever a response was proffered, it was continually shrouded in malevolence.
His appearance lacked the splendor one would typically expect.
He appeared garbed in an ostentatious orange jumpsuit, resembling a denizen of the nearby correctional facility.
The visual representation he shared portrayed his genetically blessed uncle — Uncle Nate.
The aforementioned individual previously graced the silver screen in Hollywood circa 1998.
Uncle Nate possessed allure capable of invoking demise, and his physical stature was not to be trifled with.
However, this rendezvous failed to embody the charisma of Uncle Nate; perhaps an attenuated shadow thereof.
You were ensnared, deceived, and left bereft of any inclination to negotiate.
The prospect of encountering him once more is as undesirable as concluding this encounter promptly.
Empower Yourself to Evaluate Your Companion
No longer must you languish in anticipation.
No longer must you endure the presence of lamentable compatriots flouting punctuality.
You continually encounter inept individuals whose mere presence grates upon your nerves.
This fruitless pursuit merely yields a debilitating headache and sentiments of indignation.
Dates bereft of decorum, adrift in an ocean of ignorance regarding proper utensil usage.
Dates lacking the art of communication, their ears deaf to your discourse, yet possessing an ardent desire to pontificate.
Are you plagued and wearied by this parade of lackluster dates?
Did you yearn to return home when it was a mere biological imperative to urinate?
Rejoice, for the auspicious news is that you are no longer obliged to endure another lamentable rendezvous.
Henceforth, you possess the solemn privilege of officially assessing your potential mate.
Bid Farewell to Deplorable Encounters
Envision a realm where, after each underwhelming tryst,
You return home to rate your companion with candor and clarity.
Within your dating application, a dedicated platform allows for comprehensive articulation.
Their disposition—a commendable reflection of a suitable match…
Or a lamentable display, intoxicated by imbibing an excessive amount of spirits.
You possess the power to caution others against engaging with this prospective partner—do they possess the qualities to embark upon a lifelong journey, or are they destined to occupy the confines of a mere roommate?
You may accord them an august five-star rating, thus enabling future suitors to be enlightened.
Alternatively, you can bestow upon them a dismal zero-star rating, thereby forewarning others to avoid the replication of such pitiable encounters.
Every Assessment Imparts Enlightenment
Each profile shall bear an illustrious star rating, affording individuals the means to evaluate
Whether the individual in question is a keeper, necessitating the orchestration of a matrimonial union
Or whether they harbor sinister intentions, necessitating a swift termination.
We are accustomed to appraising our culinary experiences, evaluating our lodgings, and even rating our legal advocates.
Now, we are bestowed with the ability to simply assess our potential partners.
This shall spell the demise of woeful dates.
You may now conserve your time, forsaking the obligation to seek caffeinated solace.
Enlist today and bestow upon yourself a favor, dear companion.
Commence your journey with Rate Your Date and vanquish those horrid encounters.
Steer clear of potential future divorces, entangled within legal disputes,
Henceforth, you shall be privy to foreknowledge, determining whether to proceed or remain confined within the realm of your abode, indulging in a gratifying exfoliation of the skin.